We all have the tendency to talk about what’s going on in our lives with our friends and family. And sometimes, that includes our relationships. As a Bethesda Couples Counselor, I have heard it all.
Even the most well-meaning people in our lives can give the worst advice to couples!
“Jealousy is a Sign They Love You”
Jealousy is not bad per se- it is a completely normal emotion that can sometimes occur in romantic relationships. However, when jealousy leads to trying to control your partner or treating them like property, that is possessiveness. If one partner constantly questions the other, makes demands, or tries to control who their partner hangs out with and when this can indicate much bigger issues in the relationship.
“A Good Relationship Doesn’t Require Work”
While a relationship should not be relentlessly difficult, they do require effort. Even when things are “going well”, it’s important to prioritize the relationship. That may mean learning about each other’s Love Languages, being intentional about spending time together, being a good listener, learning to be vulnerable, and seeking support from a Bethesda Couples Counselor. Over time, nurturing the relationship can begin to feel less like work, and more like a labor of love. And when things are difficult? Supporting your partner through a hard time such as the loss of a loved one or an illness means putting their needs above your own, temporarily.
“Fighting means there is a lot of Passion”
In certain circumstances, some conflicts can be healthy in relationships. Healthy conflict can help us express our needs, communicate boundaries, and even build intimacy when we are vulnerable with our partners. However, when disagreements escalate to yelling, criticism, retaliation, or even stonewalling (the silent treatment), it is unhealthy. Seeking support with Bethesda Couples Counseling can help you learn to communicate and discuss your differences in a healthy way.
“They will Change”
The idea that we can change another person through the power of love is a common misconception perpetuated by many movie plots. Whether your partner has annoying habits, or there is something more serious at play, dedicating your life to trying to change them doesn’t work out in the end. If there are perpetual disagreements about the same things, or you wonder if there is a possibility of compromise, a Bethesda Couples Counselor can help.
Remember, while friends and family have good intentions by doling out marriage advice, therapy is going to be a more productive route. In Bethesda Couples Counseling, we are able to take a more objective view of the situations, offer observations, and provide tools to help support your relationship.
